"I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else."
-- Marilyn Monroe

As I sit here reading that Marilyn Monroe had six toes, and then that she didn't, I can't help but think, yeah, she was mad cute. But at the same time, I have to wonder two other things:

1. How many potential "media idols" are there in the world who just don't have the chance to get in front of a camera?

2. What is it about stardom that has this bad habit of killing people?

Rhetoricals... I mean, Marilyn Monroe started out as an assembly line worker who was discovered by accident by magazine photographer David Conover. And nowadays, so many women hide behind makeup and expensive clothes that it's hard to tell who looks good under all the gunk on their faces, crash diets and silicone "enhancements".


Why can't beauty just be beauty?

i used to be interested in eastern medicine.

at one point in time, i had considered a career in medicine, arriving at that idea through exploration of physical fitness and holistic health. when i was younger, i practiced a bit of tai chi [admittedly from a television series that aired at the time, but better than nothing]. sometimes while practicing my tai chi along with the tv show I would feel a deep sense of relaxation and a heaviness in my limbs. along with the gentle voice of the "teacher" explaining the concept of chi and how tai chi enhances chi flow, i naturally came to the assumption that "this must be my chi"...

as time passed, i fell out of the habit, but some of the subtle postural aspects remained. for example, while standing, i would often unintentionally raise the heel of my left foot and place most of my weight on the right leg with the knee slightly bent -- as i had been instructed was the proper "ready" stance in tai chi. my curiosity has stayed with me over time, even as i practiced other martial arts.

at present i have somehow managed to survive my teen years and in the process gained at least a rudimentary understanding of the human body through my favorite hobby as an ueshiba-lee-miyamoto-ali imitator. because of this, i understand the importance of training each aspect of a potentially precarious movement to ensure maximal protection from injuring oneself. it is difficult to imagine me going at my present pace as i age without a particular awareness of physical limitations, in terms of age, range of motion, flexibility, and strength of the body's major joint structures. in my readings i came across some of the principles behind tai chi and the "soft/internal" chinese martial arts, whose main emphases are: a] fighting, b] health, c] development of the self. all of the emphases can be pursued in tandem, but the original movements are, after all, rooted in combat modalities. one can choose to become a true "kung fu man" with the integration of all of the parts into a whole being, or the focus can lie mainly [or totally] in the pursuit of fighting skill, or health. tai chi can be practiced slowly, with great deliberation placed upon each movement, or it can be practiced with speed and destructive intent as it is done in some "harder/external" styles, like san shou or western boxing.

as far as my desire regarding the martial arts is concerned, in the vein that i have endeavored to follow in this line of thinking, i consider postural and health-related benefits to be of primary importance. after all, i'm twenty now; i can kick and punch with speed, power and accuracy. will the same be true in thirty years, when i am at the age of "knowing my destiny"? this is why i look for a more comprehensive thought process when researching the foundations of an art. health is of primary importance, because an art isn't very effective if you practice for five years, and then your body starts to creak and groan due to the discomfort of your forced efforts. for the first year or so of tae kwon do, my hips in particular were quite unhappy with my best attempts to "get my leg up there" and throw those beautiful, powerful kicking techniques...

one time while training in the college dorms during my first university experience, i managed to kick the dresser that was sitting next to me while i was practicing my crescent kicks. my toe immediately bled and bruised and throbbed, although i just saw it as part of the game. training happens, injuries happen. eventually the toe healed and i continued with my training. but about a year later, i suffered from what seemed to be a recurrence of the old injury. possibly a hairline fracture that had not healed properly? that ended up not being the case, but nonetheless, the podiatrist became a good friend during that limp-and-hobble period -- i had the opportunity to see him quite often. the podiatrist... a practitioner of western medicine, specializing in the feet.

allopathic? homeopathic? alternative? complementary? integrative?

for some reason, possibly my childhood struggles with asthma and the steep price of medication over the years, i have developed a rather investigative attitude regarding health, the body and particularly methods to treat the body that are not restricted to treating symptoms when they occur. the western medical concept of "health care" seems to be more like "sickness care" to me. after all, a person need not necessarily be sick in order to not be 'healthy'. similarly, a person who is not the stereotypical "buffed stud" that is a fixture in the media may also be perfectly healthy. and a skinny, lethargic person may be of the "ideal" image but feels a lack of energy, is always catching colds, and is generally a bloody mess... constantly monitoring for problems is a great way for doctors and pharmaceutical companies to make money, but a sadly inefficient way for people to stay in health and good spirits. for example, hospitalizing a person for asthma rather than teaching them breathing techniques and educating them about possible triggers for asthma attacks is, in my experience, an utterly inadequate way to treat a chronic disease. having taken a peek at these "esoteric" traditions of the "oriental masters", etc. i came upon the entirely "natural" practices of both exercise and medicine as a way to not only intervene in case of sickness, but more importantly to assist in the maintenance of health. this sounded like a perfect match for my discontent with the western medical system.

as i looked deeper into the eyes of this wise eastern dragon whose fire, when breathed would cleanse all ills and grant longer, disease-free life spans, i came to see that the eastern ways of health promised all manners of things, including the relief from chronic asthma. in particular, two disciplines, called nei kung [see a previous post below] and chi kung [a derivation of nei kung, at least according to master c.k. chu] caught my eye. it is also worth mentioning that nei kung is the postural foundation for tai chi.

there are fundamental problems with the claims made by this sort of training, which actually are the same reason why the eastern medical concept is so enticing. one of these flaws is the partiality of testimonials and first-hand accounts. very often, the only voices that one will hear regarding the "alternative medicines" is the positive ones, who have undergone near-miraculous recoveries and improvements due to their experiences... far less does one hear the non-congratulatory accounts of failure and disappointment. as one source that i read says [and i paraphrase heavily], "for every one successful story that is told, there may be a hundred that are not successful but are never divulged."

another problem with the eastern traditions in particular is that they are based on the metaphysical concept of "chi". the same reason that chi is so compelling [thousands of years of 'proof' throughout chinese history, the complex and seemingly authentic mappings of chi meridians and accupuncture points throughout the body, etc.] is the very reason that it has become unconvincing to me of late. chi mysteriously cannot be measured by western science; it has never been conclusively found or studied. various ideas expressed in eastern medicine have been translated into the western understanding [for example, the accupuncture points sometimes correspond to nerve stimulation, causing temporary pain relief], but i find it quite perplexing that western science has been studying the body for over two hundred years and has not found this pervasive guiding force that supposedly sustains all life. how is it that eastern medicine has found the keys to healthy, long life, when the eastern health sciences are not based on actually looking inside the body to see what makes it work?

the one undeniable benefit that i see from the practice of tcm [traditional chinese medicine] is the emphasis on the role of the mind in the healing process. this is also a focus in the martial arts, as training the mind is every bit as important as training the body -- indeed, many schools of thought in martial arts circles consider mind training to be the most important aspect of training in the fighting arts. the pursuit of the mind translates to everyday health in ways that have yet to be even scratched behind the ears by western understanding [stereotypically speaking]. in the interim between deciding whether integrative medicine is a viable career choice for me to sink my teeth into, i suppose that i will be content to study the eastern manner of thought from a synthetic perspective -- that is, i will look for reason why eastern methods work from within the analytical, dissective context of a critical mind. no mumbo allowed. not that i haven't read the tao te ching five hundred times, but taoist philosophy and yin-yang theory alone are not sufficient for me to propone a system for within there is very little theoretical substantiation as a physically reliable system. the mind and body are fascinating, and i would like to find out exactly where the concept of 'chi' lies in relation to connection and integration of thought with reality. wherein lies the interface, and to what extent does a human being feel his state of mind?

anyway, good night and good luck for tomorrow. stay calm, relaxed, focused, but take care not to fix the gaze to far into the future. now is where it all happens.

Caloric intake restriction is good for health.

Excerpt: Roy Walford, professor emeritus of pathology at the University of California, Los Angeles, has made headlines with a plan he calls CRON -- Calorie Restriction with Optimal Nutrition. Walford, who's been using animals to research weight loss and health since the 1960s, has suggested that people could live 120 years or longer if they maintain a weight that varies from 10 percent to 25 percent below their "set points," or the weight to which the body naturally gravitates.

Patriotism is for Ignorant People.

Well, when you put it that way....

In this case, his perspective is something that I agree with, although I hadn't thought of it that way before.

What is "Natural?

From the Skeptic's Dictionary.

@a=(Lbzjoftt,Inqbujfodf,
Hvcsjt); $b="Lbssz Wbmm"
;$b =~ y/b-z/a-z/ ; $c =
" Tif ". @a ." hsfbu wj"
."suvft pg b qsphsbnnfs"
. ":\n";$c =~y/b-y/a-z/;
print"\n\n$c ";for($i=0;
$i<@a; $i++) { $a[$i] =~
y/b-y/a-z/;if($a[$i]eq$a
[-1]){print"and $a[$i]."
;}else{ print"$a[$i], ";
}}print"\n\t\t--$b\n\n";

lol

My eyes are bugging out.

Jeremy Glick: CRM Specialist Who Became a Hero

I've been sitting here reading Bushido Shoshinshu.

The story of a man who, with the help of 'three or four other passengers', sacrificed his life for untold numbers of others in an act that disregarded his own instinct for survival, seems to be one of the greatest fulfillments of the potential that lies within every human being. Humans may be a "thinking reed", but some find it within themselves to go farther than others. Very few are strong enough, but one day I hope that I will be able to count myself as one of those.

Question: How does one go about finding the understanding to make such decisions?

Oh well, back to reading.

The End of Push-Button War

A perspective on the disconnection of the American people from the truth of war [violence and death] and the effect of the WTC destruction on people's "videogame" mindset in regard to acts of war against others.

What do I think? Common sense is not so common. Complacency is much easier than vigilance, and human beings are generally lazy unless reacting to a sensation of immediate pain. It is far easier to become set in one's ways than it is to find understanding. The question lies here: how deep does this pain run in the "average American" mind?

I wonder about how numb we have actually become to the fact that suffering is just as natural as happiness and that neither takes precedence except in our own minds. In this case, "natural" means that this kind of thing happens all the time; the United States is as much a perpetrator as it is a victim. The only way to find a conclusive solution to this problem is to destroy the motivating forces behind the actions of those involved. Those who do not fear death have nothing to lose but the reason to die. And where there is one martyr, there are potentially thousands.

A Relatively Balanced View of the African Slave Trade.

Something that I found interesting [it was also the validation of an old "I know I've read this somewhere before" thought process]:

It is important to distinguish between European slavery and African slavery. In most cases, slavery systems in Africa were more like indentured servitude in that the slaves retained some rights and children born to slaves were generally born free. The slaves could be released from servitude and join a family clan. In contrast, European slaves were chattel, or property, who were stripped of their rights. The cycle of slavery was perpetual; children of slaves would, by default, also be slaves.

Note to Future self: Dont' forget to reread the rest.

Extractions from this page:

Gandhi was once asked, "what do you think of Western civilization?"
He replied, "I think that would be nice."

" 'There are no atheists in foxholes' isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes." -James Morrow

"If it isn't broken, let's take it apart and see why not." -Unknown

"Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop." -Lewis Carrol, from Alice in Wonderland

An interesting comment from a discussion on Slashdot re: the WTC destruction on Monday:

You don't kill terrorists to punish them, you kill them to get rid of them! The more terrorists you kill, the less terrorism there will be. Duh!

You're right! That tactic worked so well for Isreal, they've run out of terrorists to kill!
Dumbass.

I agree with the response [shown in bold]. The rest of the discussion [linked above] is interesting too. The answer does not lie within indiscriminate killing.

a report from CNN.com

ok.

The World Trade Center.

Has exploded in flames. And crumbled to the ground. Terrorist attack, two passenger airplanes, both towers.

If you looked downtown from midtown on Lexington Ave., there was a massive, dense cloud of black smoke hovering over the horizon...

The Pentagon was hit too.

Passenger airplanes, man.... damn.

Sitting comfortably in my seat on the train, I overheard an anonymous female voice repeating incredulously, "a plane crashed into the World Trade Center?" Speaking into her cell phone, she repeated the words that would form the dominating thought for the rest of my day. Although curious, I was not all that surprised. The interesting part was when the word "terrorist" was mentioned. And upon reaching the school, a television monitor in the lobby on campus revealed that another plane had been hijacked and crashed into one side of the Pentagon. From street level, I saw a tremendous cloud of ashen smoke sitting on the horizon from my view between the buildings lining Lexington Avenue. I just hope that those who died did so quickly and with as little suffering as possible.

Now we'll see how well our favorite monkey responds to the situation.

I've been thinking of taking up nei kung.

It's interesting that I can almost get a sense of who that person is by reading her writing. Clear, unaffected, she doesn't use a style but it is very distinct regardless.

Clear
unaffected
feeling

feeling.

Interesting words from an Interesting Source:

In the 1600's the world was believed to be flat. This opinion was common knowledge supported by both society and the Pope. It was not until Galileo came along and proved the world was round. Because of this he almost lost his life through torture until he renounced his statement. Just because society believes that something is common knowledge does not make it true. Only a fool would site common knowledge as a basis of validating a statement.

-- Thomas Guzman-Sanchez

Thoughts on the criminalizing of drugs [namely e, as seen through the example of alcohol prohibition]

Inspiration: nocturnal wonderland and the mess that came after

via David Oh // Cynicworld

In the first place, drugs used for recreation are considered to be the embodiment of "rebellion" for many people. This alone draws significant attention to the process of obtaining and using these drugs.

As time goes by, if these drugs are seen to have negative effects on their constituents [more importantly, if there are large enough numbers of people taking this drugs for it to create a significant divergence from the US government tax flow] and are being taken in large enough numbers to cause concern within the general public, the subject of litigation is quickly considered.

The ensuing regulations, aimed at staunching the "trafficking" of the newly-illegal substance, Instead create a heightened sense of exoticism and rebellion in those most prone to its use [and abuse]. Because of this, the effect of legislation is that instead of destroying the means of distribution, laws banning the drug simply make it harder to get by the average person. The dedicated ones, the people most likely to provide a steady source of income for the dealer, are not deterred. Rather, they are only more desperate to obtain that which is the chosen source of their intoxication. This creates an increase in the value of the drug in the eyes of its consumers, and resultingly makes the peddling of the drug more profitable to those who control those limited distribution channels. Because of the tighter restrictions on distribution and the ensuing increased competition for the ability to sell the drugs, eventually an underground system forms in order to meet the demand of its constituents. This, generally speaking, consists of coersion, gang involvment, murder and a general "gold rush" attitude [criminal or otherwise] for those who have a forte in strong-arm commercial tactics.

The real solution has nothing to do with the law. The only way in a society that encourages capitalism as an economic value system is to subvert the attraction for the drug itself -- to make it "unfashionable", so to speak. If legalized and controlled, the feverish desire for the drug will inevitably wane and become just another part of the social landscape. In the case of an element that has commercial value, litigation is never the answer. Societal change is the only way to truly overcome the attraction [demand] and trafficking [distribution], eventually slowing the profitability in creating the drug itself [supply].

Fighting drugs with laws doesn't work. People will make their choices regardless of the law, because the supply will always be there, and so will peddlers of the substance. The only way to fight drugs is by educating people so that they can make intelligent choices [or social stigmas against use of the drug].

I've spent the past week in and out of classes, book stores and the accompanying trains, buses, etc.... there is definitely some culture shock in coming back to school.

I've been out of the whole "school kid/trendy/who's cool and who's not" feedback loop for a looong time... almost three years. Having written that, it begins to make more sense that I would be a bit nonplussed about the whole social situation. Still, though, it is quite a strange experience to walk among your age-peers and think about how irrelevant alot of what they say and do really is. I mean, I've never been one for aimless chat and posing with "the cool people" just to be seen with the right clique, but now I find all of that more than a little distasteful and strange... almost as if these people actually feel that their lives are important in a larger social context.

Perhaps the greatest cognitive gift that I have received over the past few years out of school and working [for the most part] full time is that I realized something earth-shaking:

My life is only the most important thing it the world to me. In other words, no one else can validate or invalidate my experience.

Of course, those with whom I find a common general experience [friends and associates] will most likely have somewhat of an influence on my understanding of things because I know that they have an adequate means of comparing their perspectives with mine. But on the whole, I find no reason to allow someone with whom I share no common point of reference to give me the slightest pause in carrying out the expression of my self. For example, that super-trendy girly girl that flounces down the hall opposite to me and sizes me up like a hunk of well-seasoned steak is interesting to my hormones, but not to my mind. I wouldn't waste a moment's thought to consider why she thought I was attractive or what it would take to keep her thinking about me... perhaps that is why talking aimlessly is not a high priority for me. Often there is nothing to say to someone who has little more in their heads than "is there lipstick on my teeth?" And in some ways, that applies to the testosterone-crazed, forever pissed-at-something male "youth" of which I am supposedly a contemporary.

My contention here is not with "superiority" versus "inferiority" but rather more a question of the optimal use of one's time. The problem is finding the few people who actually share my interests in a way that I find meaningful. Hm... is there any way to talk about martial arts, web design, philosophy, psychology, Japanese language and culture, computer programming or martial arts [wait, I mentioned that already] that will make people think that I am the coolest, funnest person they have ever met?

Ha!

The answer is that when I find people who share my interests, I feel both interesting and interested. Case in point: I have a friend who is a computer science/philosophy major with whom I can have conversation for a day at a time and feel entirely satisified in the interaction. And yet, the vacuous self-importance proudly displayed by the majority of my age group gives me the urge to beat someone. To make them bleed, wake them up a bit. Give them a taste of what makes life more than a dull insular process. Don't just try to be safe and happy. Do something... who cares if you die if you've truly tasted what it means to live, even if only for a moment's time?

Flipside: how do I know that I'm not the one who's sleeping?



And with that, I take my leave to shower and eat.

"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running
around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

-- Source Unknown